it hurts when, we are so stressed out with something but we cant do anything. same like if we miss someone. currently, i hate that feeling. when i need you, but you weren’t there. but when i saw your last seen, i dont whether you are really busy or not. i dont know with who i want to talk too. thanks for everything that you’ve done to me. the quotes that you post that “bla bla bla. feelings are faded, bla bla bla.” i know now your feelings towards me faded already. at least you say it to me. at least im not like a donkey waiting for you. im tired with all this. you never know how i felt. i just kept this mad feeling because i dont want you to get bored with me. but seems like you already do bored with me. i cant do anything unless just shut up and watch you from far from my sight. go ahead and enjoy your life. im not against anything. i know this is what you want. you already happy with your friends. its okay. that is what you dreamt of. thanks for let me knowing you. when you need me, you know where to find me. thanks. thanks for everything.
honestly. im not a nice person. actually. im not blaming both of you. im blaming myself. hope you both undertand. seriously. i felt like im not a good friend for both of you. i dont know. ati tau korang terasa dengan ati banyak. ati cuba taknak bagi korang terasa hati. tapi ati rasa ati tak berjaya nak buat korang happy. especially qila. ati tau qila banyak terasa dengan ati. ati tau. the way you talk, the way you looked at me, the way your expression to me. i know that. seriously. im not blaming both of you. im blaming me. i understand. i deserve this. i think too much. im the one who should say sorry. what i do, i will get back is it? serves me right then. Allah pay everything from what i’ve done. ati minta maaf sebab ati dah banyak susahkan korang. ati tak pernah salah kan korang or marah korang. you both are more precious person i had ever met. i love you both so much. i never say this to you. but, i just want you both know, im really really really love you both. once i lose you both, i had nothing. i felt guilty from what i’ve done. thats all. serious talk. that twitter thingy, is the guilty feeling that i felt. i had done so many bad things to both of you. seriously, i remember you both everywhere i go. that is the first time i feel this way about friendship. i love you both so much. and im serious. once i lost you both. i had nothing. please. im really really sorry. and im begging you, please forgive me. im trying my best to change myself. im sorry, Ain, Qila.
dont ever feel shame to say sorry. by saying sorry, it will cured people’s feelings. yes. its true. as example. people get mad to you. because of your harsh words upon them. by saying sorry, it will low down their mad to you. even though they still remember what you said. at least, they forgive you. dont ever lie to them by using ‘sorry’ words. ‘sorry’ words are the greatest words ever. so dont ever play with it. once you say SORRY, please say it honestly and dont ever repeat the same mistakes again. people dont like it. i take this as a lessons for me. you also can think, for example, once the glass break, you will never got to fix it. same as people’s heart. once you break it, it wont be able to cure it. it will take a long time for them to forget. or maybe they dont. so, please. never make someone mad at you.
i have to believe in myself. everyone has their own problem. not only me. so. rilex… chill.. chin up ati. every problem that i faced with full of patience, i will get a reward for every single problem. in shaa Allah. Allah knows everything. Allah can see everything. this world, human all over the world are belongs to Him. pray to Him and never lost hope. be a good girl ati. im sure you will get what you want for your whole life.
everything i do always wrong. i never do anything right. yup. its up to you whether all people around me want to punish me. i accept it. im not acting to be nice. but. i’ve already said, im give up. im give up on everthing. i rather stay alone. but even though i walked alone or hang out somewhere alone, i never feel like im alone. Allah always there for me. He always accompany me no matter where I go. He is the most sweetest friend ever. when we are in problems, He will hear all what we want to say. yup. Allah.
not everyone in this world is perfect. yup. not all of us were born in such a luxury life. but sometimes, eventhough the people had a luxury life doesnt mean that they were happy. maybe from what we say, we can describe it as “ohh. they rich. so they can have what they want. what a cool life you have.” yes. everyone can say that. but, did you really see behind of their luxuries life? did see what they’ve been through to get along with it? does we really know about it? maybe for the person who are really close to that person will know what they’ve been through. what can i describe from this story is, ‘dont judge the book by its cover.’