im all alone. the only way for me to express my feelings. :D
well.. its been a while huh? i’ve never update this tumblr for a long time. kind of miss though to share what had happen to me while i’m gone. yup. there’s a lot of thing happen. and i can’t bare to handle it anymore. i don’t have any patience anymore. i’ve lost my patience to you. i dont know why. i dont whether i should give up or not. there’s one thing, i dont want to lose you. i dont know, maybe you are the precious person for me maybe. im tired of crying. seriously. im really really really really tired. but, if this kind of ways that you really really want, and it is maybe make you feel happy, its okay. i just follow what you really want for your life. but pleaseeeeee let me know if you dont like me anymore. at least i dont pu my hope on you. im tired of waiting. really tired. i hope you happy with all your friends there. i guess the sentences that once you had told me before “you always be my ‘best friend’ to me. you are my only friend.” still remember that? i guess not. you completely forgot about that. i know. but that’s okay. i’m just your friend that only be there when you really need me. that’s fine. i dont mind about it anymore. i know you want many friends in your life. i know it was your dream. maybe i should back off. you are happy now, while i dont. all i want is, you to be there for me, when i’m sad or in happy situation. that’s all i want, but i guess… it wont happen. its okay. i will be there for you. always. :) i’m only exist in your life when you need my help. okay? :) thank you. thanks for everything. for the sweet memories that we have been through. thank you. with those memories, our ‘relationship’ remains until now. thank you so much.
I have made up my mind from now on. To achieve what I want for my life and struggle to achieve it. I have to forget all this unbenefit things. I want to prove to my family that I can be someone that they really want me to be. So, I can fulfill what they want. Yes, I can do it. Forget about this rackets and move on with your life.. If we’re meant to be, in shaa Allah, there will be. Okay. That’s all for today. I have to stop hoping. That’s all I can do right now.
Where have you been.. Haih..
Ergh.. Seriously.. I miss you so much. I want you right now. Stay beside me. That’s all I want. If I could, I really want to get rid of this jealousy feelings. Seriously… Ergh!! I have to think positive.. Never think negative. Yes, I easily get jealous. But I tried my best to get rid this feelings. I don’t want to lose you. Serious.. And yes.. I’m not playing this time. I only want you. Only you. No one else. I hope you’re not find anyone else. If you do, please tell me that you don’t like me anymore. That is the way that I’m not hoping too much for you.
Okay .. now .. how I feel? Hmm.. sad . Missing someone .. I need someone. Ergh! What is wrong with me .. am I to much hoping? I guess I do. Hoping for you to stay with me forever for my whole life. Yes … I don’t look to anyone else anymore. Wherever I go … all I see is you. All in my mind is you.. no one else but you. Am I desperate? Truly desperate I guess. All I should do right now is only pray, that you and I are meant to be together forever. In shaa Allah :-). Thank you for staying with me until now. And I wish you will stay with me forever. If Allah wills :-) . I want to say that .. I miss you so much … I’m sorry if I had done something wrong to you. I didn’t mean to do that kind of things. Seriously. Thank you for cherish my life. Thank you for making me laugh. You know what … I never feel bored with you. Never feel. Thank you for staying with me. :-) I promise .. if you are my future husband, if Allah wills, I will take a good care of you. I promise :-) Aniq Ayadi :-)